Tuesday, 28 April 2009
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Something else
Well, I think I'm growing a little tired of all this bull puckey. So, I'm going to take this opportunity to talk about...something else!!!
How's my garden, you ask? Why, it's quite lovely, for not having any plants in it. Last frost date in Maine (at least in my zone) is about the middle of May, so I don't dare plant anything outside until then. But I'm getting my beds ready and have plans for raised beds this year. To do what I want to do, I need about 230 feet of lumber for all my beds. That's an assload of wood, and we'll see how much it's going to cost. It might not all get done this year. I'm also getting a 50/50 compost-top soil mix from a local composter to fill all my raised beds. That'll cost about $160, but it's a one-time thing. I'll never have to fill these beds again. I'm really looking forward to getting the lumber, building my beds (yay for power tools!) and filling them. I'll feel so accomplished just with that. To hell with the plants, I say! I'll just build boxes of dirt!
Today was spent in the sunshine and the 77 degree weather finishing bed prep. I can't do anything else until I get lumber. I might go and talk to some lumber guys today. We'll see. I also have to make at least two trips to the dump since I can't make my husband do it in one trip anymore. And I have to go to Job Lots and get that dense shade grass seed, and go to Aubuchon and get a bale of straw to put on top of the grass seed, and spread the seed and the straw and water the whole bit. That on top of taking care of my kid and eventually doing something about supper. I might just be lazy and have supper be leftover pizza.
I like cake. Cake is good. I don't have any cake, but I do have cookie dough. Maybe I'll bake some cookies after supper. That sounds like a good plan. Gabe can say cake. And what's even worse is he knows what it is.
Gabe can also say potty. And poop! And he'll willingly sit on the potty. I'm hoping that's bringing us one step closer to potty training. Yay for someday no more diapers!!!!
My grampy's birthday is Thursday. He'd be 87, if he wasn't dead. Maybe I'll wear his hat to work on Thursday. Probably not.
My cat is standing on my shoulder looking for something to suck. Apparently the spaghetti straps on my tank top aren't enough to suck on. He knows better than to suck on my bare skin. Moderately good kitty.
I took a shower this morning, but you probably wouldn't know it to look at me. Or to smell me. At least the glass is out of my foot.
I think Gabe and I will go to Mosman park today and play in the ocean. It's a great day to do something like that. I'll have to get muck boots for me before we go, though. I guess that adds a stop at Reny's onto my to-do list. Frig a damn, it keeps getting longer.
My mind doesn't really work right now. That's what happens when you've been up since 4 am.
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Be My Yoko Ono
By Barenaked Ladies
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Comments (8)
Cake is good and cookie baking is always good. It makes the room and house smell heavenly. Good to hear that you have garden plans and that even though things aren't growing yet due to the season, that you are having nice weather up there. This weekend the weather was nice here too, in the 80's and not humid, for once. We opened all the windows and enjoyed a breeze.
Good to know that you are having good times with Gabe as well and that he says more things, although poop, while good with potty training, could lead to strange situations in public. *Grins* yay for little kids learning vocabulary can be shocking, hopefully though this won't be for a while. Good luck with potty training, from what I know it can take boys longer to learn that than girls.
Also, glass in your foot? what happened? Good to know it is out though.
"Gabe can also say potty. And poop!"
But the real question is can he -throw- it?
All my tomatoes died. I hope you have better luck with your garden.
You are are remarkably courageous woman, but I feel you are misguided. I did not mean to hurt you in my previous post, but I wanted to share lessons learned by another woman. I do have an account here now, and I think you can mail me at that otherwise just use my name and 14059 at yahoo
Nobody ever finds out who they are until they are done being who they are and have begun being someone else. Nothing philosophical there, but now you are a 30ish woman with a young son (or two?) who is very confused.
I have no idea why the tattoo stirred up so many responses, I don't care for them, but if you do and they will not interfere with your career and life then by all means live it up. However it concerns me that you have to save for the Ivy you want. I hope you are saving for all of those emergencies that families have too.
You seem very connected to your Grandfather, yet you have not mentioned what your mom or dad think about you leaving your husband for an old flame. I think they may not approve. Would they have done the same, did they do the same? Perhaps that is just the way you know.
Had I had it to do over again I would certainly take the husband that I love like a brother over the old flame. I would take an intact family over passing Gabe back and forth. Look how much he is learning now, he knows poop and cake - I hope he has both of them clear and does not get them confused!
Annie, I think you may not have had time to really be a little girl, and now that you can make your own decisions and live your own life you are making up for it. Not that I imply that you are childish, but now you have the freedom to make some mistakes and test the waters that you may have not had before. It seems however that the results of the tests and trials are coming in and you don't particularly care for them. You seem to be pushing your friends away when they offer their opinions. You seem to want to remain in your own cocoon doing only what you want to do, enjoying the things you want to enjoy.
You have to be the big girl too. You have to think of your sons before anyone else in the world. You are the mother, you must protect them always, you must care for them always, and you must be with them always. You cannot shuttle them back and forth between homes. Wait until your son call's Wes's mother mom, your heart will be torn out. You must be mom, and Wes must be Dad. I am unaware of what Dominic's situation is as you never really elaborated - at least in the parts of your blog I read.
Wes seems like a good man, he has a job, he sticks up for you and he wants you to make your own decisions. I am sure he thinks 'since she loves me I will set her free, if she loves me she will return. Lots of great guys think that I am sure. They fail to realize that sometimes we women are our own worst enemies. You know the relationship you had with Pierre was not good, yet you want that freedom and excitement back.
I only wish you knew what I know. Take the good, kind hearted, although a bit spineless, man you have and that you love like your brother. Make a family, and remember make is a verb, it takes work but it is worth it. Making a family with just a mom and the kids takes more than twice as much work for the mom.
Get whatever tattoos you want, enjoy your garden, go to work and be a good nurse ( I am a nurse practitioner), and love your babies and your husband. Twenty years from now you will be glad you did. As your son on his seventh Christmas asks for a Red Ranger BB gun you will have forgotten your old flame, you will have a new man in your life, and a partner for life that supports you and both of those 'boys' will want a BB gun.
My husband and I split a year or so after our youngest was born. I was looking for more out of my life. I was working as a new nurse on a floor. I thought there was must be someobody else. When I finally realized that while my husband didn't make my heart race every time I saw him, but he made me feel safe and loved - when I finally realized that and brought him back into our lives to work to make our family again he was taken from us in an accident at work. Oh, how I wish I had never pushed my husband away. I was looking for something besides being a nurse, wife, mom, cook, cleaner, driver. I'd give anything to have my family all together again. I am fortunate that Dave's an my kids all knew their dad, my youngest insists he has memories, but they may be memories of recollections of my other children, but my rock is alive in all of our memories. A good caring man who wants to be a father to his children is the greatest treasure a woman can find. Flames burn out, you can build on a stable rock.
It took me too long to realize the world does not revolve around me. Don't make my mistakes. I am praying for your family.
@katrina_a_kat - ::screams:: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?
@katrina_a_kat - I read what you had to say and it was well reasoned, and heartfelt, but it makes me wonder why you are saying it, beyond having experiences yourself? You don't know annie or you don't seem to and she is asking who you are in her reply, so how did you find her xanga? Did you just sumble upon this and decide to jump into shark infested waters to save Annie.
I ask because even me stating my opinion, was a little out of line and I have known Annie for years, even if we haven't always been as close as we once were. Even for me getting into her situation isn't exactly my place. I can't stand by and watch a friend hurt themselves and the people around them though without saying something, it is one of my major flaws and makes it hard to be friends with me, but you... as far as we can tell, don't know annie and have not connection, why then do you feel you need to tell her these things twice, although I suppose this time it was as explaination? I am just curious. It is annie's place to tell you to butt out or whatever, I just want to know why you have decided to try this path, especially when her post to you tells you that you are making her run in the other direction.
@diddimus - I did stumble on this as I was looking for someone with whom I went to nursing school. I am not quite sure how I was directed to this particular site when I searched on xanga, but I saw it and wanted to share my experiences. I was drawn to read much of Annie's writings and I felt an empathy that is hard to describe. I made a great number of mistakes in my life and I thought perhaps sharing might provide some things to think about. My first post may have been a bit strong, but it brought back memories of the mistakes I made as a young mother.
You are right, I don't know Annie, I only know what I read on here. I am new to this whole thing, and I didn't know that my email address was not attached when I made a comment, I am sorry that it came up as anonymous, I didn't intend that. I am now filling in things on my page here.
I didn't understand you couldn't simply respond to what people posted on their pages, I didn't know there was an etiquitte about this that precluded someone from responding publically to things posted publically.
I just wanted to share my feeling that a baby needs his mom and dad twenty four hours a day, and a good man that who does not set your heart afire as much as he did before is better than what many women have. I know of two or three co-workers who would be happy to have a friend as a husband than no man around to help raise the children. I know of others who have been hurt physically and emotionally by the men they love.
From my favorite movie "I am older and I have more insurance". I am older and I can reflect on the mistakes I have made, and I wanted to share my experiences and opinions based on my own life. Of course advice from someone unknow should be taken with a grain of salt, but it may contain things that people wish to think about.
Everyone involved remains in my prayers.
Kat
@katrina_a_kat - I didn't understand you couldn't simply
respond to what people posted on their pages, I didn't know there was
an etiquitte about this that precluded someone from responding
publically to things posted publically.
honestly... there really is no etiquette about sharing if the journal entry is public, such as these entries are. The only real protection from outside opinions is to make a journal private, otherwise it is posted on a public forum, however depending on the journal that you post on, some people can get touchy about that sort of thing, so watch out for that, just some advice for a newbie.
I think what you have to say is very poignant and should give someone something to think about, but when a person is in the moment and the bubble that they have created, they think they have thought things through, so to have it thrown at you that people you don't even know are telling you that you haven't, it can make people stubborn and close their eyes to things they didn't want to see or hear even from friends, especially from strangers.
Personally, I found your honesty and openness refreshing, but some people may not. Thanks though for responding and sating my curiosity.